What two fights can Africa never win? A food fight and a water fight.
I'm The NIGGA You Dream Of
Have you heard of the current event in Africa?
It’s known as the Hunger Games.
Did You Know? : The most Black Holes in the Universe are all found in Africa!
I hate it when you say your life is a joke because a joke actually has meaning.
I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.
Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubix cube into pussy. Wait 30 seconds, if it's solved then there's a little Asian in there.
A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I !?”
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE FUCK FUCKED MY WIFE!” A man in the back responds, “YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”
I was digging in my garden when I found this chest of gold coins. I wanted to run inside to tell my wife what I found, but that's when I remembered why I was digging.
Husband: “Honey, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erect*on?” Wife: “ok... what is it?” Husband: “I don’t have a Ferrari right now”.
My wife wanted something that went from 0 to 80 very quickly.
So I brought her a new bathroom scale
Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?" Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."
After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years. But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!
Wives are like grenades... -- Remove the ring and boom, house is gone!
I hate family reunions.
I see too many of my ex’s there.
A Russian walked into a bar... Unlucky for him I guess, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
My friend loves playing Roulette, so I figured I would introduce him to Russian Roulette. Blew his mind.
Why can’t U.S.A or England play chess? Because the U.S.A has no towers, and England doesn’t have a queen.