What two fights can Africa never win?
A food fight and a water fight.
I'm The NIGGA You Dream Of
@imtheniggayoudreamof
I got the best girl in the world ( Fuck all y'all niggas that say anything different. And Fuck all y'all niggas that be rude to my girl).
Tough as nails(when I want to be)
Devilish
Most likely the guy that gets in legal trouble the most
Graffiti Artist
Street Dancer
And harder to track down than a needle in a haystack
Have you heard of the current event in Africa?
It’s known as the Hunger Games.
Did you know? The most Black Holes in the Universe are all found in Africa!
I hate it when you say your life is a joke because a joke actually has meaning.
I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.
Asian pregnancy test:
Stick a Rubix cube into pussy.
Wait 30 seconds, if it's solved then there's a little Asian in there.
A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I !?”
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE FUCK FUCKED MY WIFE!”
A man in the back responds, “YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”
I was digging in my garden when I found this chest of gold coins.
I wanted to run inside to tell my wife what I found, but that's when I remembered why I was digging.
Husband: “Honey, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erect*on?” Wife: “ok... what is it?” Husband: “I don’t have a Ferrari right now”.
My wife wanted something that went from 0 to 80 very quickly.
So I brought her a new bathroom scale.
Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?" Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."
After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years. But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!
Wives are like grenades... -- Remove the ring and boom, house is gone!
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s dick.
I hate family reunions.
I see too many of my ex’s there.
A Russian walked into a bar... Unlucky for him I guess, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
My friend loves playing Roulette, so I figured I would introduce him to Russian Roulette. Blew his mind.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
Why can’t U.S.A or England play chess?
Because the U.S.A has no towers, and England doesn’t have a queen.