Wade

What is the worst thing about your birthday being on September 11? Party crashers.

Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker? Not only do you get your money back, but, the second hour is free.

Knock, knock. (Whose there?) Your dad. (But my dads dead.) I know, just reminding you!

Yo Mama so fat the cops arrested her because she had 240 pounds of crack on her

A man find out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees. Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says “I can save you $100”