What's the difference between your girlfriend and sister ? Nothing if your from Alabama
englishcm
I finally stopped drinking for good
Now I purely drink for evil
Life is like a penis simple,soft,relaxed,and hanging free.until a woman comes around and makes it hard
Jack and Jill went up the hill so jacK could lick Jill's candy jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jill's real name is randy
I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child if you don't believe me I can pop my trunk
What is Mozart doing right now ?
Decomposing
Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?
It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence
Why do they call my dick section 8?
Because all the hoes are on it
Roses are red violets are blue I'm stroking my dick and thinking of you
What's the difference between an onion and a baby? I only tear up cutting the onion
I know the voices in my head aren't real but man so they have some good ideas
If a man is willing to try his hardest to give you the moon and stars, then ladies, you should be willing to give up Uranus.
I was at the bar late last night when a waitress screamed anyone know cpr? I said shit I know all the letters of the alphabet. Everyone laughed well except for this 1 guy
Y is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations
God died for your sins, so basically if you don't sin then Jesus died for nothing
Went swimming today and peed in the deep end the lifeguard saw me blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in
What do Jesus and I have in common? No one knows my real bday either
How does Jesus whistle? bye s blowing through the holes in is hands
I wish the doctor would prescribe me some medicine that's actually useful like cyanide
Man goes to a doctor says he's having problems shitting so the doctor gives him so enama and says he needs to do it a few times at home but does the first one for him so the guy bends over the table lubs him up and shoves it deep in him and he yells. so later the man goes home and tells his wife he needs her help with the enama so he bends over she lubs him up puts a hand on his shouler and she shoves it up there and he starts screaming and cussing and the wife asks did I hurt u? He said no I just realized when the doctor did it he had both hands on my shoulders