Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way someone is excited to see you!
What's it like to have the best daughter in the world? You'll have to ask grandma!
Who was the first anesthesiologist? Hitler
Whats the difference between a baby and a bowling ball? A bowling ball doesnt cry when you put your fingers in it.
What was Morgan Freeman called before the civil war? Morgan.
What’s the difference between Anne Frank and Harry Potter? Only one came out the chamber.
Why do Chinese people like playing Among Us? It’s the only place they can vote!
What’s better than winning gold at the Paralympics? Walking.
Why can’t girls in the middle east smoke weed? Cuz they’ll get stoned.
Riddle me this batman, Whats long round and has cum in the middle Batman: A dick Riddler: NO NO NOOOO iT'S A cuCUMber
balls deep
I have a question, does aging affect corpses too? just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!
Why are most absent dads mechanics
They like to nut and bolt
What does a french guy say when he falls off? Oh no, eiffel!
your cut so broke even bob the builder cant fix it
bro is your hairline and your forhead good friends because they go way back
i saw two really tall guys i walked up and said "i didn't know we still have the twin towers"
Why was the leper hockey game canceled? It was because of a face-off in the corner.
"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?" "I'm a butcher," he says.
What do you call inexpensive circumcision? A rip-off.
