Worst Jokes Ever
I get so many things stuck in my head, though, unfortunately none of them were a bullet.
I wanted to do something nice for my uncle, so I cleaned out the nice vase that was given at grandma's funeral. It had so much sand, I'm glad to help.
What is one thing blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
A horse walks into a bar.
Several of the patrons quickly get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.
Never challenge death to a pillow fight.
Unless you're prepared for the reapercushions.
What does Fortnite and real life have in common?
They both lost their tower.
What do you get if a disabled person falls off a building? Mashed potatoes.
What's the difference between a gay man and a hairline?
The hairline is way straighter.
Today a child asked if I was an angel. I asked why, and he said, "Mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."
If you hit an orphan on the arm, what will he do? Tell his parents?
What is the craziest thing an Indian man does for sex?
Marriage.
YOOO, does anyone need an ark? I know a guy!
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway, and that even if she didn’t, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.
Spell "I cup." It's funny.
A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."
Depression sucks, and so do you.
Why did the cheetah get in trouble at school?
Because he cheated on a test.
My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.
Or is she asking her son, "Do you know Newton?"
The boy said, "No, I don't know."
She said to him, "If you had paid attention to your lessons, you would have known him!"
The boy said, "Ok, do you know Ikhlod?"
She said to him, "No, who is she?"
He said to her, "If you had paid attention to your husband, you would have known her."
The important thing is that the boy is currently a week with his uncles and a week with his turbans.
Why did the feminist fail algebra?
She couldn’t solve inequalities.