Worst Jokes Ever
I'd make a joke about the chin bones, but y'all couldn't mandle it.
Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?
Me: I Excel at it.
Boss: Was that a Microsoft pun?
Me: Word.
Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”
Question: What is the BIG ADVANTAGE to going out on a date with a "Homeless Chic"?
Answer: After the date, you can "Drop Her Off" ANYWHERE!
What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
My friend told me my wrist wasn't a cutting board. So I asked her if hers was at all, and if I could borrow it.
Technically, a human is hollow. We have an empty tube through us from the mouth and nose to the asshole and dick or pussy. We are basically tubes.
The 11th of September is considered 9/11 in America. The Twin Towers fell on 9/11 in 2001, but to call an emergency in America, you dial 911! 😮 You could say they dialed that correctly.
Your hair is receding more than people do when they smell you.
When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.
So they can let me down one last time.
One day, I was just chillin', being a tower. I saw a plane, but it was slowly growing.
Then it hit me.
What happened when two invisible giants knocked over their blocks?
9/11.
What do you call a batter in a hot air balloon?
Like if you're gay.
The doctor said I have until 2:30 to live.
That’s like 20 years from now, I said.
He looks at the time. It’s 2:30.
Boy: The F in orphan stands for family.
Orphan: But there’s no F in orphan.
Boy: Exactly!
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."
I heard life was a gift. Well, I hope they kept the receipt, because I'd like a mother-fucking refund!
Question: Why was "6" scared?
Answer: Because "7" ate "9"!
I like Christmas.
It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁