Worst Jokes Ever
Why did I give an orphan the iPhone X?
Because it is the first one without a home button.
My mom interrupted my gaming session to tell me to hang up the lights.
I hung something else instead.
So, I was walking around the outside of the building and I saw a kid and asked, "Where's your parents?" I love working at the orphanage.
I tried to fight a razor. It cut me so deep I thought I would die.
Turns out he didn't kill me. I was never happy, but that shit made me angry.
What do you call a stand-up comedian if the comedian doesn’t have legs?
A robot walks into a bar and orders a martini.
The bartender is flabbergasted that a robot can do that.
"New around here?" said the bartender.
"Nah, been here a while," said the robot.
Bartender "You can talk?"
Robot "Yeah, pretty cool, huh."
Bartender "Why do you want a martini?"
Robot "Oh, I'm just in the mood for one, you know?"
The bartender is shocked to see a robot making completely normal small talk.
The robot seems to be just like a normal human.
"Wow, who programmed you?" asked the bartender.
"The top minds in the world," said the robot.
The robot speaks again, "I have a question for you..."
Bartender, "What?"
"Why did you read this entire story? It does not have a punchline. I just wasted your time. Get bamboozled, nerd!"
Do you know what the F in orphan is for...
Family.
What do you call an inexpensive circumcision? A rip-off.
Yo mama is so fat, the doctor asked for her weight, she told her phone number.
Bob has no arms.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"It's not Bob."
I am the Lorax. I speak for trees. I have the high ground, and I will cut off your knees.
This is a joke. Laugh now or else.
People ask me, "Are you an organ donor?"
"Yeah, over my dead body!"
Assalam alaikum, bitches.
"Room, you on."
Why was the orphan so successful?
When the options were either go big or go home, he only had one option :(
Why shouldn't you make fun of burn victims?
Because they've already been roasted!
Why do cemeteries have fences?
Because people are dying to be there.
Yo mama is such a slut, she could get slapped by a pack of hot dogs and get pregnant.
When you find out your wife had a miscarriage,
So you start singing "It’s the best day ever!"