Worst Jokes Ever
I’m not a hard drinker. I actually find it pretty easy.
(First Person): Knock knock, who's there? (2nd Person): Lemme talk to you, when we finna slide, what we finna do, knock knock, who's there, time to make a move, slayin' all then demons and we gotta move in too.
(Second Person): Knock knock, (1st p): who's there, let me talk to you, be careful where you steppin' out cause you ain't bullet proof, knock knock, who's there? time to make a move, block is full of shooters, and they didn't come to hoop.
Today I put the women’s rights book in the fantasy section of a library.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not the two Twin Towers.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thought Shrek was ugly, until I saw you.
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
What’s a zebra? A few sizes bigger than an A.
What kind of flour do orphans use to bake bread?
Self-raising flour.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he could call someone Father.
The daughter walks up to her father and asks him, "Dad, can I ask you something?"
The father says, "Of course, what's your question?"
The daughter replies and asks, "How do you feel about abortion?"
The father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?"
The daughter replies, "I don't have a sis-"
Yo mama so ugly, that when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho- HOLY SHIT!"
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, grabbed her thigh, and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a daughter.
Haha, I fucked you over!
What do you call a male prostitute in a bar...
Handy Andy.
"Can't go under it, can't go over it, we gotta go through it!"
What does an autistic kid and a porn video have in common? You can shoot both of them, just not in public.
Did you hear that Michael Jackson once got food poisoning?
He ate 12-year-old nuts.
Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”
Friend 1: “Yeah.”
Friend 2: “Yea.”
Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”
Friend 3: “I love anime.”
Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*
The next time I knock on your door, I'll hit you instead of the door.
Your mum is so fat, when I see her, I get depressed.
Hitler only wanted peace.
A piece of Poland, a piece of Czechoslovakia, and a piece of Turkey.