Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?
One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.
My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight.
I told her to keep her chins up.
What's white at the front and black at the back? A bus.
What is the difference between an orphan and a candle?
One is used.
Welcome to Peyton's Orphanage, where you make it, we take it!
What kind of flower do orphans use to bake bread?
Self-raising...
(DOORS)
What door is the first door that opens for you?
The elevator to go to the game.
Yo mama so fat, she likes long, romantic walks to the refrigerator.
Q: What is the difference between Americans and Africans? A: Some of them have food, and some of them don't have food.
Your mama so fat, it took all the trees to build her a coffin.
Yo mama so ugly when she looked in the mirror, her reflection threw up and ran away.
Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.
What is the difference between an orphan and a blanket?
One is actually used.
Your hairline goes so far back it looks like Will Smith slapped it.
You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.
The death of JFK must have splattered on the news.
Your hairline goes even further back than the last time your parents said "I love you."
A girl in the shop was getting bullied. She came to me saying, "I’m getting bullied." I told her, "Stand up for herself."
What do you call a terrorist swimming?
A bath bomb!
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they can't call anyone their dad.