Damn that joke was so dark a cop almost shot it
I wish 911 was in December because the poor farm feilds
what is a fish without i's fsh
What does a prostitute and peanut butter have in common They both spread for bread
I downloaded fruit ninja so I can cut fruit instead of myself
i was walking today and i saw a emo with a noose looking up at a tree i simply said " hang on there bud!"
How do you call a very good lemonade?Fantatastic
A cop pulls a man over and finds out hes drunk. So he asks for license and registration, and the drunk man says ̈Can i see your flashlight? ̈ and the cop says ̈just give me your license and registration. ̈ so drunk guy says ̈not until you give me your flashlight. ̈ the cop said ̈for what? ̈ and the drunk guy says ̈so i can shine it in your face and see what an asshole looks like. ̈
YOUR HAIRLINE IS SO FAR BACK I NEED BINOCULARS TO SEE IT
why were the twin towers upset ? bc they ordered pepperoni and cheese pizza but instead got plain !
Why do orphans wish they had a bounty on them so that they can be wanted
What color is your bugati
Ur forehead is so big that when u put glasses on top of ur head it falls off
Who is older than twin towers?billy bob the 1th,he was older than the twin towers he was born 3 minutes before the twin towers and still alive today
Whats an asthma patient’s least favourite vegetable?
An arti-“choke”
I said something in ur ear and then it echoed because of the size of ur forehead because ur brain small
I saw ur forehead and realised ur mom and dads forehead were as big as urs also ur gay
I find it bemusing that hardcore right-wingers are superfans of Johnny Depp, considering that he looks like a dangerous Mexican drug lord.
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.
why does America suck at chess. because they already lost there two towers
