Worst Jokes Ever
Humor is like skin; the darker it gets, the less people like it.
Pulled pork? Yeah, I cranked my hog today, too.
I wasn't going to tell another emo joke, but I didn't want to leave anyone hanging.
Me yelling every gay slur to get suspended.
I’m in catholic school.
My girlfriend got COVID.
This is the perfect time to propose to her. She might just say yes because of the lack of taste.
It's obvious Bill Gates didn't create COVID.
None of his other products are able to release new versions this frequently.
Q: What do men and math tests have in common?
A: They get cheated on.
As the Navy SEALs burst into Osama Bin Laden's room in his Pakistani compound, his last dying words forever rang in the ears of the SEALs...
"It was just a prank bro."
Osama Bin Laden was trying to give me relationship advice.
Probably wasn't the best time to say "OK Boomer."
I went to a restaurant and a waiter took my order. She had two black eyes, so I ordered real slow.
Because obviously she doesn’t listen.
I am Asian.
I am so Asian my pronouns are: heeEEE/Ya.
How do you make the grass cut itself?
Make it depressed.
Why do orphans have only 363 days in their calendar year?
Because they don't have father's and mother's days.
Police officers hope you’re a criminal.
Doctors hope you get sick.
Mechanics hope you get car troubles.
But only thieves wish you prosperity.
Weird?
A woman is slightly drunk, watching a video, when she yells at the screen, "Don't go into that church you dumb bitch!"
Her husband asks, "What are you watching?"
"Our wedding video."
The best part about Asian jokes is that the only people that can be offended can't see the jokes.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a suicidal vest?
A suicidal vest actually works when triggered.
What's the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt?
One actually finished a race.
Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:
Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.