Worst Jokes Ever
Why do orphans go to church?
So they can call someone father!
Friends: "You wanna hang with us?"
Me: "No, I wanna hang myself."
You learn from the best.
Q: Why can’t orphans be criminals?
A: They are not wanted.
People wear chokers, and I'm a choker too, because I tried to choke myself 6 times.
Who is the definition of a natural-born cocksucker?
A bisexual male, a homosexual male, a bisexual female, or a heterosexual female?
A physically disabled heterosexual male.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
The snowballs.
Yo momma's so ugly, her birth certificate was an apology letter.
What animal can jump the highest?
Emo kids because once they go up they never come back.
Just saw the news that Kobe passed. I guess there's a first for everything.
My four conditions:
1. I need coffee.
2. I need vacation.
3. I need food.
4. I need tape, axe, saw, bag, shovel, and an alibi.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair. She came crawling back!
My girlfriend left a note on the TV saying, "This isn't working!" I don't know what she's talking about, the TV works perfectly fine.
Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.
So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Both can't see their parents.
I saw a monkey outside of school and said, "Look, a monkey!" I got expelled the next day.
I love teaching students
how to make them harm themselves.
You know what orphans and I have in common? Our dads both left for the milk.
Yo mama so fat, when I swerved to miss her, I ran out of gas.
Hang in there, you all, Literally.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? "We are Family."
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? "Family Guy."
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? "Meet the Parents."
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
Next: Inappropriate Jokes
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?