When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:
Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?
Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a person in America that is not a retard?
A foreign exchange student.
Why are orphans good at dodgeball?
They can dodge adoptions.
Yo ass so fat that you can't see your toes.
When you go to the movies, you take up seven rows.
Why were the Twin Towers mad when they ordered pepperoni pizza?
Because they got plane.
Why did the transgender man only eat salad?
Because he was a "her" before.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
The Virgin Mobile.
Chuck Norris can toss Jupiter at the Sun with his bare hands.
And he still cannot win a fighting match against Bruce Lee.
Beethoven composed his whole life.
What did he do in the afterlife? He decomposed! Har har har har har har.
Qassem Soleimani is so popular today.
I mean, he just blew up overnight!
Why could you not see the guy in my dark closet?
The guy was black.
Buy KFC or else.
When a wheelchair kid bends over, wheelchair kid goes “ohhahahhahhahahahahal!”
Someone said to stop hurting myself, but I'm still trying to cut my arms off.
What was going through the head of a 9/11 victim on the 88th floor?
The 89th floor.
When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."
Why are Americans bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they’ve already lost 2 towers.
How many Sallys does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, she was electrocuted.
Your hairline's so far up, they call it a skyline!
Your hairline goes back to the first century.
