Worst Jokes Ever
What's the best thing about abortion jokes?
They never get old.
What's the definition of trust?
Two cannibals giving each other blowjobs.
Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano?
Neither has he.
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Stop and apply lubrication.
What's better than roses on a piano?
Tulips on an organ.
What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.
Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?
In case he gets a hole in one.
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering a minor.
What's a cannibal's favorite dessert?
Lady fingers.
Why is leather armor better for sneaking than steel armor?
Leather armor is made of hide.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple, but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
What's the difference between an amateur thief and a professional thief?
The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."
Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, "Isn't it dark down here?" She replies, "I don't know. I can't see."
What do you call a black man flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist bastard!
How did the Java programmer's son get rich?
Because of inheritance.
I've just started reading my first ever Braille horror story, and I think that something scary is about to happen. I can feel it.