Worst Jokes Ever
What does a squirrel eat? Deez Nutz in their mouth.
Have you heard of the show Naked and Afraid?
That's what I call hide and seek with my uncle.
Why are black men's eyes always red after sex?
From the mace.
What do you call a 5th grader with no friends?
Sandy Hook survivor.
My mom picked my major.
A woman walks out of the bathroom, winks at her husband and says, “I shaved down there; you know what that means.”
The husband responds, “Yeah, the drain is clogged.”
How is tightrope walking like getting a blowjob from someone ugly?
If you want to enjoy either, you absolutely can’t look down.
How does a woman scare their gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
No, I don't want to fight, so I shall kill you (so we won't fight)!
Help! I got my brother pregnant.
Gay gang members don't do drive-bys, they do fruit roll-ups.
Miscarriage jokes aren't funny, just cut it out.
Where does bad light end up at?
In prism.
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.
"Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bartender.
The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!"
What do an open champagne bottle and an orphan have in common? They both lost their pop.
So Americans strongly worship Donald Trump, eh? Well, let's put that claim to the test by throwing him into the general population of Rikers Island.
Your hairline is so long The Rock complimented it!
Your hairline is so long, people call it "The Natural Disaster!"
What record did Obama prove during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he'll still be in government housing.
Why are people from New York so bad at chess?
Because they quickly lose two towers (rooks).