Woods jokes

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Do you have any problems with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says, "No." So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.

If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?

I was really rooting to tell that one.

I killed a Wood elf yesterday. The guard charged me with... mer-der.

What’s your favorite type of wood? Mine is Bollywood.

What’s made of wood and is zig zag shaped?

Stephen Hawking's coffin.

So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.

The boy turns to the man and says, "Hey mister, it's getting dark out, and I’m scared... Can we go back now?"

So the man says: "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"

How does a crazy person get to the woods?

He takes the psychopath.

So, a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.

Boy: "Hey mister, it's getting dark out and I'm scared!"

Man: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

If trees could kill you, they wood.

A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night.

The little boy says, "I'm scared."

The pedophile says, "You think you're scared? I have to walk back alone!"