I fear my last words will be ''hold my beer and watch this.''
I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said go look in a mirror. I said thank you.
I got a phone call from a guy labled 'assassin' saying my life will end soon. I seriously doubt that he w-
*gunshot*
Him: What's The Difference Between Incestry.com and Ancestry.com?
Her: What?
Him: Nothing, Either way you will be dating your Cousin
Today i find out that my cat got hit by a car accident, wellp i guess im gonna play ninja fruits on my hands again, Its not like anyone will notice.
you look like a dumb crab. when everyone sees you, the world will end.
God:who ever kills Hitler will go to heaven Hitler:👌👌👌👌 God:😩😩😩😩
The mirror says: if you break me, you will have 3 years of bad luck.
The Magic Jewel says: if you break me, you will have 10 years of bad luck.
The condom just sitting there laughing.
Friend: wana hear a joke
other Friend: sure
Friend: pussy
other Friend: i dont get it
Friend: and you never will
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip and he died that was the last thing we did together and I will never forget his last words “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS”
So, I know that there are a lot of egg YOLKS on this website, and I guess I got BEAT to it, but I'm EGGcited to say EGGsactly what the eggs say. I know I;m bad at this but I hope you will crack up anywat
I’m going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!
The twin towers are like your father, their both gone and will never come back.
Wow... That ship is beautiful! I wonder what will happen if I ram into it... - Iceberg 1912
People ask me if my friend jumps of a bridge will I go as well. Of course not. I am a leader I will go first, my friend will jump after me!
dudeeeeeeeeeee if u stabe a cereal box will that make u a cereal killer?
If Shaquille O’Neal had a boat he would’ve named it freethrow, because he will never sink it.
Me:bro i don't think the twin towers will ever order pizza again friend: why Me: because when they ordered pepperoni all they got was plane
I have a choking kink, so i will enjoy hanging.
By the way, infertility is hereditary:
if your parents did not have children, you will not have any.
