Will Jokes

Boobs are like batteries... AA will get the job done... C is bigger than AA... D is bigger that C... ...and if they're square, you don't want to put your tongue on them!

Hello this is your captain speaking, we are flying at a level of 89 feet, if you look out of your window on the left, you will see the world trade centre

Whats the best part of been a Pedophile? You will never have a wife

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an exposition to the Amazon Forest. After a while they get lost. So as they are walking suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says "Hey, your in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren't that crazy so we will let you choose how you die." The man from France said, "bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "bring me the gun" And the man from New York said, "bring me a fork" The guy was confused with the fork but still brought it the items and gave it to them. The guy from France said, "for the France!" And drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, "long live the queen!" And shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said "MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS"

i don't say funny stuff because I'm afraid they will take the German passport from me

What’s the difference between a hoe and a roster? A roster says cockle doodle doo and a hoe says any cock will do

Men should provide their disobedient daughters with their own "milk" instead of letting them use the mother. That will teach those bitches some respect for men. It may even help them get laid later on in life.

If a man is willing to try his hardest to give you the moon and stars, then ladies, you should be willing to give up Uranus.

The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.

The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!"

Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”

So the Pope slapped him.

They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in Jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10 year olds

Guy: My life is like a game, I should end it.

Guy 2: Is it a hard life?

Guy: Yup

Guy 2: Then you can't kill yourself LOL

Guy 3: Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the "game"

Once again, RIP Daniel Kyre, he actually died this day five years ago.

He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.

We will miss ya bud..... (cyndagoooooooo)

Doctor: I'm sorry but your surgery will cost a lot of money. Buuuuuut what's this behind your ear? Oh it's still cancer

Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse. Will you help Jack off a horse.

Why did God build a stairway to heaven?

So all the disabled people will have to go to hell

I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers and gunpoint forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you pendu! 🤬🤬

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you... You have my Word.

Me at the Oscars when i see Jada Pinkett Smith, me, I said: "G.I. Jane 2, more like G.I Jada 2, can't wait to see it"

So will smith is laughing and then suddenly, Suddenly Will Smith walks up to me and punches me in the face

Me: "Ow, oh, wow. Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.” My nigcka Smith goes: "KEEP MY WIFE'S NAME OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Me: "Maybe you should focus on keeping her friends out of hers"