Their jokes

What is the best power that man can do? They can move the mountain with their tongue.

Yo, three kids play hide-and-go-seek. Their names are Trouble, Manners, and Shut Up.

Shut Up hit the police station, Manners hit the trashcan. Trouble is the seeker. When they go and hide and all that shit, the policeman comes up to Shut Up and goes, "Hey kid, what's your name?"

Well, Shut Up looks at him and goes, "Shut Up."

Policeman says, "Excuse me, kid, where's your manners at?"

Shut Up goes, "Oh, Manners? In the trash."

Policeman goes, "Oh, Manners in the trash? And then policeman goes, "Hey kid, are you looking for Trouble?"

Then Shut Up goes and says, "No, Trouble's looking for me."

Why do people keep saying, "Why did the toilet paper not cross?" Because it got stuck in the crack, because it got stuck in their crack.

Q. Why don't cannibals eat clowns?

A. Because they hate the taste of their stupid clown wigs, makeup, and retarded shoes.

When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: "It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path." Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.

Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real.

Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk.

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    • A family had a very disobedient dog. It would bite the children’s hands when they pet the animal, the dog would piss on everything, and it would chew their shoes. This is why it was adopted.

    Whenever I’m bored, I hit up my local orphanage and beat some of them up.

    I mean honestly, what are they going to do, tell their parents? 😂😂

    A few male neighbors came over to the house to take a shower because, for some reason, their house didn't have water.

    A few minutes later, I walk into the shower. I see the male neighbors and Mom taking a shower together. Then I said, "What are you doing?" They all say, "We're taking a shower together so we could save water."

    Three citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI. Their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot her. He walked out in shame and said he couldn't do it. The second guy had the same scenario. He put the gun up, but couldn't pull the trigger, so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario. He walked out and told the instructor, "The gun wasn't loaded, I had to strangle the bitch."

    So, a mom and a dad take their son to a therapist.

    “What seems to be the problem?” the therapist asked.

    “Our son thinks he’s a refrigerator!” they said.

    So the therapist replies, “Oh dear, that must be a problem.”

    “Yeah, he sleeps with his mouth open, and the light is really bright.”

    Two muffins are sitting in a bar.

    The first muffin says to the bartender, "I'll have the usual."

    The second one does not say anything to the bartender because muffins lack the vocal ability of humans, and even with the proper anatomy capable of speech access, they would most certainly be entirely unable to comprehend the human language. In fact, the first muffin would indefinitely not be able to provide speech to the bartender. The muffins also lack the muscular structure to be capable of support themselves to being suspended also preventing their access to movement. Even with the human-like structure, muffins lack brains, which are an essential part of being able to send nerve contact within the legs to be able to move. Also, with them lacking a brain structure entirely prevents them from speech. The anatomy simply prohibits the food items mentioned to be able to carry out any of the tasks required to get them to said bar and be able to speak, thus making the situation untruthful and completely idiotic.

    Two people about to have sex realize they have no lube.

    In their desperate, horny haste, they looked for the nearest "Downy" and asked it, "Speak into my hand."

    Upon their return to the bed, they regretted it immediately because his dick just stayed down...