Their jokes

So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"

How do you help a depressed kid face their fears... You count to 3 and say jump?

What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.

Hi Alex, you will probably not see this till the morning, but I just wanted to say I have had fun since you were here. Also, thank you so much for protecting me and being there for me. And yeah, have a good day!

Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.

Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.

Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.

A cemetery should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.

I was stark nude. Hehe, I was. I truly and sincerely was.

The nurses giggled and said, "Joseph, why the hell is your wiener so loving?"

My penis purred and stroked their hands. I laughed and said, "I do not know."

If trees were sentient, they would make their furniture out of bone, flesh, and blood.

Now ain't that cool?

Why do orphans eat cereal with water?

Their dad did not come back with the milk.

I will stop making fun of orphans when their parents come back.

My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets."

My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets."

My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets!"

Women have so much evil in their blood that God has to drain it once a month. Hehehehehe

Why are short people so angry?? Cause they're closer to hell.

"Sonic Says", "If you're ever bored and have nothing to do, then just punch an orphan in the face. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?"

Why do orphans eat cereal with water?

Because their daddy still hasn't come home with the milk.

Jesus shows up and says you’ve got to go to church.

You follow him in, and under their breath, it sounds like somebody says, "You steal." You say in your mind, knowing you have before, "I’m sorry." Then somebody coughs, and under their breath, it sounds like they say again, "You steal," so you whisper quietly, "I’m sorry."

...then somebody in German says, "Schieß den Hurensohn!"