The jokes

I was doing a 10km run with my good friend Pessi. As we were setting up our smart watches, the watch voice asked us if we wanted to do a solo run or a group run.

Pessi proceeded to smash both our watches and shout, “I don’t want solo run, I want Penalty!”

Shame on you, Pessi!

Eibar-Man! Eibar-Man! Does whatever a ghost can.

Scores a tapin With Xaviesta’s assistance. Misses a pen From close distance.

Lookout! Here comes the Eibar-man!

How do you name an Asian child?

Ring the doorbell.

What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby?

Sum Ting Wong.

Why was the broom late? Because it had overslept.

Why can't you trust the atom? 'Cause they make up everything.

What takes knowledge to do and also takes knowledge away?

Looking down the barrel and pulling the trigger. 😂

If you hit 9999 orphans and they all tell each other, are the other orphans their parents???

Sometime ago I went to the morgue and asked if they took walk-ins.

Why did the fruit punch say "What's sup?"

He was so naughty!

Q. When is your grandfather's bedtime?

A. Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

I look at your bro.

And all I can see is the real definition of *"Lack of Grace!"*

Humans. We are the joke. Retards.

What's the difference between a God and my mom?

My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."

So, Biden, Zelensky, and Putin are on a plane, and the plane loses altitude and goes down, but there are 2 parachutes. Putin takes the first one and jumps because he is a greedy twat. So he jumps, but then Biden says, "You go, Zelensky. I am much older than you, and it is ok for me to die." So Zelensky takes the second one and jumps, but when he did, the plane regains altitude, and Biden got to Washington, DC, all fine. They found out the reason was Zelensky's steel balls.

What are the four letters you don’t want to hear from a dentist?

I C D K

I can make a word with those: "DICK".

Why do pedophiles come in last place for every race... because they are always in the back (if you know what I mean)?

The only thing brighter than my future is the fire on the World Trade Center.

What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?

"Who are you wearing?"

Dad: Honey!

Mom: What?

Dad: All of the broken condoms are on the bed.

Mom: WHAT!?

Children: *staring*