The jokes

Your momma is so fat, when she got in the Pacific, she became the Pacific Ocean.

Your mama's so ugly, she got everything for free.

Your mom was dating a boy that had a twin brother, but she did it with the wrong one.

What’s the difference between a chicken and an orphan?

The chicken is actually used for something.

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.

(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)

Baby: Wait for me!

(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)

(He squishes the child.)

Father: Ketchup!

It's not bad that my car doesn't beep when reversing.

The screams of the passers-by are enough for me!

You're so skinny you're a thin stick.

You're so fat that when you got in Pacific Ocean, you became the Pacific Ocean.

You're so ugly you got stuff for free.

You're so nasty that when you eat spaghetti, you thought it was throw up.

You're so fat you're the fattest person on Earth.

You are so gay you kissed the boy last night.

Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure?"

That's a horrible thing to find out when you're adopted.

A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.

A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"