The jokes
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
Why did the bee go to the doctors?
Answer: Because he had hives.
Where does a cow take his date?
Answer: To the moooooovies!
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around.
What did the plane say to the towers: "Can't go over it, can't go under it, oh no, we got to go through it."
Q: What kind of club do roosters go to? A: The Chicken Strip.
I made that one up.
In the hospital, they need to keep the disabled patients' rooms cooler than the other patients' rooms.
Why?
They need to keep the vegetables cool and crisp.
I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.
Two windmills stand at a farm. One asks the other, "What is your favorite kind of music?"
The other windmill replies, "I'm a huge metal fan!"
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Did you guys know that Chancellor Palpatine is suing Nike?
Apparently, the company stole his slogan: Just "Do It."
What's the difference between an orange?
A hippopotamus riding a four-door motorcycle.
Quote of the day:
Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]
The only thing they can see are their chopsticks.
Did Mr. Rusher play tennis in the dark?
You will get hit by the tennis ball! Ouch, Mr. Rusher said.
Why did Hitler kill himself?
He didn’t want to pay the gas bill.
What did the lettuce say to the carrot?
"Lettuce be friends!"
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
There was 1 gay guy, who kissed 4576 gay guys. Then had sex with them, creaming so hard, all of the dicks cumming on his face.
Then he stopped and had sex again x6, now he was left with...
Why was the soldier reading the Geneva convention?
To-do list.