The jokes
My wife is pregnant, but when we get to the doctors, something happened...
What happened?
Answer: The husband is pregnant too, with someone else’s baby, not the wife’s baby, but the wife is pregnant with his baby.
Q: When a chip gets popped, what happens to it?
A: It gets pooped out of the bag.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so they can fetch some pee. Jack fell down and broke his whole body. Jill just laughed and didn’t care, so now they have a daughter.
Your forehead is so big that your name is Humpty Dumpty, the big forehead!
I think your hairline might have the hiccups.
Answer to it: You might have to give it a wash in the shower.
In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Midixadrupin, Midixarizin or Dixafix.
Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?
He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.
The orphan can’t play soccer because he doesn’t know where home is, and his school is too dumb to learn.
Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw the gas bill.
The mom and dad left the child because they were famous and rich, like rich monkeys.
Why does the orphan can’t write a single word or sentence?
Because the orphan is dumber.
A big guy told the small guy, "Do you want a little pill because you look ill, or should I smash you?"
What did the seal say to the shark?
"Are you seal-iously going to eat me?"
The name Brynley means "burnt wood" lolololol.
When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room,
The present: Laundry.
*gunshot*
Your hairline looks like the stairway to hell.
Bent and far back.
What type of people have the world record for most stories read in the shortest amount of time?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
Your hairline looks like the inflation in America.
What's the difference between a gay man and a hairline?
The hairline is way straighter.
Your eyebrows and hairline are so far apart that when Dora the Explorer went and found your hairline and was trying to find your eyebrows, the map couldn't even tell her.