The jokes

Why were the twin towers mad?

Because they ordered a cheese pizza, but instead they got plane.

Orphans and Chinese people can’t play baseball. The orphans can’t find home, and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.

I got fired from the library. What did I do? I only put a book on women's rights in the fiction section.

Who were the fastest readers on the planet? 9/11 victims, they went through 80 stories in 10 seconds.

What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?

One stops sucking when you slap it.

Your mum is so fat, when the doctors did her x-ray, the doctor said to her, "I want your x-ray, not an elephant's x-ray!"

Your mum is so fat, when she was sitting on a scale, the number couldn't even fit on the scale and came shooting out!

I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.

Apparently, as a 4-year-old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest.

Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.