The jokes

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That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.

I recently became the coach of an orphanage baseball team.

Because I hate dealing with parents.

Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?

Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper.

What is the same thing between water and dark jokes?

Not everyone gets it!

A limbless criminal has just been identified. Police say the suspect is armed and on the run.

What’s the difference between broccoli and little girls?

I don’t like the taste of broccoli.

I drove by the gun shop the other day and everything was half off for back to school.

My wife (or husband) told me to get six cans of Sprite from the grocery store.

I had just realized when I got home that I had picked up 7-Up.

Your mom is so fat when you printed the picture, it would not stop printing! 😂🤣

I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.

When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".

I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!

I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.

(just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)

(He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)

(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)

Teach a Scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.

Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys!

Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...

"Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"

I suppose that was a fair compromise!

I'm holding an African themed party tomorrow. There is no food, and the drinks are 10 miles away!

When Leicester City won the league in 2015/16, do you think there was a little lad in Africa running around with "Drinkwater" on his back, annoying the hell out of the locals?

Wayne Couzens, the police officer who killed Sarah Everard, has been complaining about receiving a whole life tariff for her murder...

I think he should count his blessings. He could have had it worse...

He could have married her!

Why did so many people die in the Grenfell Fire Disaster in London?

All the exit signs were in English.