The jokes

Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?

He didn't give me any.

I was made by the Devil.

Yo momma so queer that she thinks Paige Stawicki will be the first female in the NHL.

My dick was in the book of world records.

But then the librarian asked me to take it out.

What's the difference between me and a registered sex offender?

I am not registered.

So, I was raping this girl the other night, and she said, "Please just think of my kids!" I was like, "What a freak."

Yo mama so old, she was accepted for the museum.

Friend: Hi!

Me: Who are you?

Friend: ...your friend?

Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.

Yo mama so fat she starts the alphabet with the letter O... OBCD.

What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?

Sum ting wong.

A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.

The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"

What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?

Pikachu, I choose you!

Q. Why do orphans love elevators?

A. Because they're the only things to raise them.

Your hairline is so wonky, "Wheels on the Bus" goes round and round on your hairline.

Are you the Twin Towers?

Because I want to smash you.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They don't know where the home is.

Also, what do you call an orphan taking a selfie?

A family photo.

Yo mama so stupid, she joined the Squid Game as a sea life lover because she thought it was a game of whoever catches the most octopuses wins.

Yo mama so fat that the US (Mexico) and North Korea (South Korea) got into a war fighting over who gets to use her as their border wall.

Why couldn't the orphan get an Android? Because it didn't have a home button.

Why was the orphan so successful?

Because his options were to go bigger or go home. He only had one choice. :)

The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza. They got plane.