The jokes
Why should you never give an orphan a phone?
Because they wouldn't be able to find the home button.
Yo mama's so dumb, she waited until the stop sign turned blue.
Yo mama's so fat, when she got pregnant, she fell to the earth's core.
Mom, how were hoomans made? Son, it’s because Adam and Eve were brought down by God and made babies!
Dad, how were hoomans made? Son, us humans evolved from monkeys!
Mom, Dad said hoomans were evolved from monkeys, is that true? Oh son, (ruffles smol man’s hair) your dad was telling you his side of the family, and I was telling my side :)
Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.
Be smart, not stupid.
Why shouldn't orphans get a phone?
They would get stuck in an app because they can't find the home button.
Q: What do you call a group of transgender women?
A: The X-Men.
Why are Americans bad at chess? They lost their towers.
Joe: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
Ben: I don't know.
Joe: They both look good until they hit the ice.
Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.
Why did the white girl come back from Africa?
Because there was no water for her to drink. I'm black.
Listen to the autism song on TikTok.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because she wanted to have an affair with the rooster.
Expectation: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Here brother! I’ll give you my jacket, I don’t want you to be cold!"
Reality: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Well, damn bro, I can’t control the weather."
Hey Siri, where is my dad?
Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen!
Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
...WhAT-
I found someone's hairline. It was on the western front.
How do I fix a broken light bulb? I don't. I simply blow up the house.
What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?
Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.
Q: What did the porn actress say when she opened the door?
A: Make sure to come upstairs!
My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.
What did the autistic kid order at a restaurant?
A disorder.