The jokes
What do you do when you see a lady in a wheelchair?
You grab a stick and put it through the wheelchair and call her nunchucks.
The inspiration for Chuck Norris to be in Walker, Texas Ranger is by decoding each of the letters in the title.
Walker, Texas Ranger = Wrangler, Karate, Sex!
What was the most useful tool in the 17th century?
Slaves.
Why You should never poop on the floor in an Apple Store?
Because they don't have Windows. 𤢠đ¤Ł
Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?
Son: Ok dad.
AFTER TEST
Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?
Son: Son?
Did you hear about the German girl being raped by 10 men? She shouted, "nein, nein," so one of them left.
I was watching The Conjuring with an emo person. She said she likes the part where the girl was hanging. I said, "Why? Because you wish it were you?"
They should bring Michael Jackson back from the dead so he can star in the Peter Pan horror movie.
I will never forget my grandpa's last words:
"What the fuck is in this drink?"
Why did the mailman die?
'Cause everyone dies.
I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. đŤŁđ¤Łđ
Does that neverending forehead of yours go all the way to Mars, holy fucking shit?
The only thing running in THIS familyâs your big ass mouth! Oh, Iâd better shut up, or Big Berthaâs gonna confuse my head for a burger!
I bet when you take a bath, they give you the whole pool. No, better yet, the ocean!
This town ain't big enough for the one of you.
Blud is so old he pre-ordered the Torah.
The Yo Mama song to end all yo mama jokes.
If you know what song this is parodying, you get a cookie.
Well, itâs a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhh, Yo Mama.
oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!
Yo mama so fat, she gotta bathe in Sea World.
Well, itâs a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhhh, YO MAMA!
Oh woo ohhh, YO MAMA!
Yo mama so slow she took 9 months to get the joke.
Your own motheeer makes me giggle.
Her struggling to do taaaasks, see her belly wiggle.
HEY!
Yo mama so fat she on both sides oâthe family.
Yo mama so inbred her own famâly tree
Looks like a spider web anâ yo mama so hairy
I thought it was King Kong I saw, that bitch is scary.
Yo mama so dumb a kid said âgimme a fagâ
And in response she kidnapped Ricardo in a giant bag.
Yo mama so blind, she drove through puppies in a blunder
I swear I almost thought the driver was Stevie Wonder.
Yo mama so old, sheâs nostalgic for the big bang.
Drier than Sahara, that crusty old thang.
Well, itâs a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhh, Yo Mama.
oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!
Yo Mama so fat her picture still printing out.
Well, itâs a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhhh, YO MAMA!
Oh woo ohhh, YO MAMA!
Yo mama so ugly I thought you had two dads.
MMMMMMM
ahhhhhh
ohhhohoh
Your own motheeer, your own motheeeeerâs pussy is tight.
Itâs not too dryyy or weeet itâs just right.
Hey Mama!
I fucked her so hard, the bitch done passed out
but not before I creamed all over her and shout
âIâM FUCKING THESE MOMS ALL THE WAY TO HEAVEN!
Donât care if sheâs 20 or 77!
Iâm doing all the moms all over the worlâ
Even if they werenât âriginally born a girl.
A pussyâs a pussy no matter who its from
Donât care if that woman is smart or dumb!â
Thatâs the truth there, baby! Even if
yo mama too stupid to tell apart her own kid
or if sheâs so fugly, sheâs the reason why
Helen Keller, poor soul, went deaf and blind.
I want to fuck every MILF on Earth
it donât matter how much her ass is worth
or if sheâs so poor, coal on Christmas is a treasure
Would I fuck her anyway? It would be my pleasure.
My body count so high canât nobody top me
She said, âIâll call you Freddie Mercury cause I want you to rock me.â
I said, âaiight bet! Canât nobody stop me!â
Well, itâs a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhh, Yo Mama.
oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!
But yo mama still so poor Africans donate to her!
Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?
But he really saved the History Channel.
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.
Why do women buy clothes from the kids section? Because rapists prey on the weak.