The jokes
What’s the difference between an ant and an orphan?
The ant knows where home is.
What's the difference between Vin Diesel and an orphan?
Vin Diesel has family.
Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:
"Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"
Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"
Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."
Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."
When you're working in the Twin Towers, but you have to turn your computer to airplane mode.
Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?
Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.
What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?
Fill her closet with see-through clothes.
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
What is the difference between an emo kid and a jug of milk?
The milk doesn't hang itself after it gets dumped.
You're in Australia. Your forehead is the reason why Africa is so hot.
What do you call a black guy on the moon?
YOU RACISTS! An astronaut!
The doctor said I would make it, but then Spider-Man came in holding a PS5.
Most orphans were born on the highway. It’s where most accidents [happen].
What’s the easiest way to dig a hole to China?
Through my arm.
Your momma so ugly, when the Kool-Aid man burst in the door, he said, "Oh no!"
I threw a paper airplane at the twin sisters. The teacher was upset. I guess they don't read the news.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive subject.
I hate it when a couple has a minor quarrel, and the girlfriend updates her Facebook status to ‘single.’
I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status to ‘orphan.’
Why did the orphan sit alone in the corner?
They wanted some family time.
What's the fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?
Just switch off the lights.
The neighbor’s children challenged me to a water fight.
I’m just checking my Facebook quickly before the kettle boils.