The jokes
What's the best part of having sex with a baby?
Deep throat and anal at the same time.
What do you call the day before Christmas Eve? Christmas Adam.
Two blondes fell in a hole and one asked, "It's dark in here, isn't it?" and the other one says, "I don't know, I can't see."
What did one traffic light say to the other?
"Stop looking, I am changing."
What did Stevie Wonder's mom do to punish him as a child?
She rearranged all the furniture.
A man bought a brand new iPhone but returned it, why?
The apple was already bitten.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
Did you hear about the guy who got electrocuted?
It was quite a shocker.
What did the dime say to the penny? At least I have more cents than you.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just WAVED. Can you SEA what I did there? I'm SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? Don't be a BEACH.
What is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.
Your mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
How does a crazy person get to the woods?
He takes the psychopath.
What is a definition of tight?
A. Putting a blind man in a round room and saying, "Your dinner's in the corner."
Did you hear about the restaurant they're putting on the moon?
Good food, but no atmosphere.
What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne doesn't cum on a kid's face 'til they're 13 or 14.
If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up to the top of your ego and jump to your IQ.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because fuck society, that's why!
What did the sushi say to the bee?
"Wasuuubi!"