The jokes
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with three legs? Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Read the title.
The black nurse tells me she has been a vegan for 29 years. The father sitting next to me asks, "So you don't miss fried chicken?"
Immigration jokes just cross the line.
Did you hear about the person who invented the door knocker?
He won a no-bell prize.
What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers?
The redneck virgin.
There are some sounds that everyone loves... - Shoes on gravel. - Crackling of fire. - The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you. - Cats purring.
Why was the Pokemon under your bed? So it can Pikachu.
Yo mama is so fat, when she came on this website, the whole server crashed!
Question: What's brown and sitting on the piano bench?
Answer: Beethoven's last movement.
How many times does 43 go into 8?
Get in the van and find out.
A man walks into a zoo. The only animal was a dog.
It was a shih tzu.
What does Matthew McConaughey say at the Republican convention...
We're gonna take back what is ours, alt right, alt right, alt right, hee heeeee...
A pirate walked into a pub with a ship wheel attached to his balls. The bartender says, "What the hell is that?"
The pirate said, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"
What did the Mexican man say when his house fell on him?
"Get off me homes."
What part of the train goes "toot toot"?
The caboose.
What's the best thing about f***ing twenty-six year olds?
There's twenty of them.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack!
Where did the cow go on his first date? To the moovies.
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it was stuck in a crack.
A tiny psychic escaped from jail, and the news said there a small medium at large.