The jokes
Shut the hell up with all these Stephen Hawking jokes, hahah. I wanna kms.
Why was the cow scared? Cause he had a nightmoo-r.
Why was Stephen Hawking late to the NASA meeting?
He couldn't get up the kerb.
Your cow is so ugly, it scared the crap out of the toilet!
What was the guy with no arms, legs, or a head name?
Matt.
Stephen only died because his wife tripped over the power cord.
How do spiders reach the internet?
Through the World Wide Web!
Why didn’t the bike stand on its own?
It was too tired.
Did you know all Canadians have the same blood type?
They all have blood "eh."
Why were the tenants of the Twin Towers sad?
They ordered a pepperoni pizza, but they got PLANE.
Germany: As long as America stays out of the war, we should win.
Japan: *bombing Pearl Harbor* Cowabunga It Is!!
Did you hear about the Boston marathon? 'Cause, well, I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away!
If I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn because they are Beautiful, Majestic, Sparkly, Bright, Gods. They create Joy and Happiness everywhere they go.
Unicorns made my life better when I got to know them more. ^-^ They filled my life with more Happiness. I believe in the Unicorns, and they'll believe in me. I am not a Unicorn, although I am the Princess of the Unicorn Land, but if I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn! :P
Did you hear about the man that got fired from his can job? It was soda-pressing.
Why was the Chinese laundry joke not funny? It had no irony.
What was the last thing to go through the terrorist's mind? The detonator.
The one thing I love about Steven is he stood up for all of his haters. Just kidding!
There was a wedding so sad that even the cake was in tiers.
Yo mama so ugly, when she entered the scare factory, she came out with a job application.
What Happens When You Get Caught On Fire?
— You Lost To Slmebody When You Were Playing Hide And Seek, And The Place Where You Got Caught Was Exactly On A Patch Of Fire.