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The jokes

What do you give a armless kid for Christmas?

Nothing because they can't open the gift.

A dad and his son walk out to the middle of the woods armed only with a shovel and a lantern.

Son: "Dad, it's creepy out here!"

Dad: "You're complaining? I'm the one that has to leave the woods alone!"

After the shooting, people were asking why they would do it.

They wanted to stop but it turns out they were playing an online game.

How Steven Hawking died: because he moved too much during the day and ran out of juice.

My friend Richard is always bullying all the little kids in the neighborhood. He is such a dick.

I went to the bathroom and into a stall to see a hole in the wall. It reminded me of "The Lickable Wallpaper" from "Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory." I jokingly started licking. Though, the carrot tasted musky and kinda wrinkly.

I will always remember my uncle's last words, "What's the shovel for?"

What did the hematologist say when his Canadian patient wrote that he's blood type "eh"? "Ah, probably just go with blood typo!"

A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards...

The steaks were pretty high.

I heard an unusual word the other day: "Opaque."

Unfortunately, what it means is unclear.

I

FCC’s

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I was voting for Trump in the 2016 election. It's been a while since the last presidential assassination...

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