The jokes
You're going to suffer the wrath of Gru!
How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.
What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?
They're both crazy and now dead.
A retired George W. Bush is eating a donut at 7/11 and looks at it. "I'm so happy I did that." A guy overhears the conversation and says, "You're happy you bought that donut? Oh haha, I would be too. I love donuts!" George W. Bush then says, "Oh hahaha, you caught me," and then says, "Oh hahaha, you must have heard me wrong. I said, I'm so happy I did 9/11."
Why did the grandmother put wheels on her rocking chair?
... she likes to rock and roll lol.
Question: What did the sun say to the little star?
Answer: Are you my SUN?
Jake had sex and broke her hymen, guess he’s Jake the ripper.
Me: Hey Joe, updog.
Joe: What?
Me: Updog.
Joe: What's updog?
*Facepalms*
Me: Lol in the corner.
What's the difference between you and Hitler? At least he knows how to use an oven.
I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took a dick in the ass.
Once I heard a joke about chocolate the other day.
It wasn't that funny.
So I just Snickered.
What do you call skeletons having sex?
When the relationship is dead, but you're still fucking.
What do you call security outside a Samsung store?
Guardians of the Galaxy.
"You gave me the same sweater as last year."
"You s w e a t e r believe it."
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack.
I always hit on 16, then get busted.
"The f*** am I even doing here?"
Yo mama so hairy that when she go to the hair salon they say, "No pets allowed."
What did the mustard say to the ketchup at the race?
Why did the skeleton not go to prom?
He had no body to go with. XD
So, a guy walked into the store and said to the worker: "Is this free?"
Then the worker said: "Nope, 'cause I'm on sale!"