The jokes
Maishah, the poo comes from an old bathroom in a country starting with B.
Where were the first French Fries 🍟 made?
In Greece.
Why did the police go to a baseball game?
Because a player stole the base.
The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet. The student recited the alphabet: "abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz". "Where's the p?" He looked down to the floor and said: "it's running down my legs".
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Ididap.
Ididap who?
That's the joke, you did a poo!
"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."
"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."
"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."
Why couldn't the astronaut put the helmet on his head?
Because he didn't have enough space.
My Bff: Hey do want any coffee?
Me: Yeh, of course.
My Bff: Ok which one?
Me: You know... the black one.
Me: Like my soul...
My Bff: Jeez you ok?
What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.
My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.
She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!
What did the fish get on his math test?
A sea plus.
The butt quack one.
What is the difference between a car and a tree?
A tree cannot drive, but a car can drive.
Why do people say "cheese" when they are taking a photo?
Because they were using the computer and thought about it.
Why do people say "cheese" in a camera?
Because they were using the computer.
What time is it when dogs get hurt?
Time to take your dog to the vet!
What is the difference between a human and a house? A human can walk, and a house cannot walk.
What name do you get if you mix the names Chris and Marisa?
Then you get the name Chrisa.
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number.