The jokes
What is the sun's favorite chocolate bar?
The Milky Way!
"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."
Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?
Why did people bully the burning circuit?
It was too short.
Why did the MOSFET go to jail?
It had a charge for battery.
What's the difference between meat and fish?
If you beat your fish, it'll die.
How did the security guard at the orchid get better at his job? He got an Apple Watch.
What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?
Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.
Where did Sally go during the attack?
Everywhere.
What do you call that useless piece of skin that goes all the way around a pussy?
A woman!
A man once went to a doctor because his leg was turning blue.
The doctor said that his leg had to be amputated as it was getting poisonous.
The man then got plastic prosthetics.
Next day even the prosthetics started turning blue.
After much examination, the doctor found that the patient's pants were shedding color.
What do you call a night guard at the glory hole inside a adult bookstore?
Guardian of the confessional booth.
Where is the cheapest gun range? Your local public school.
Why couldn’t the dairy farmer find his home? He lost the whey!😅
Boy: Crap, I hit a deer.
Girl: Awe... I guess it’s not so much of a dear.
Boy: ...
Boy: Get the hell out!
What's the difference between a suicide bomber and puberty?
Puberty waits for the blow up.
I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again, but if life is a labyrinth, I'd always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favorite...
What’s the difference between being a genius and being an idiot?
Being a genius has its limits.
What is the fastest cake in the world?
Scone.
What’s the difference between an epileptic corn shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?
The epileptic corn shucker “shucks between fits”...
A guy goes to Starbucks and asks, "Hey, if I can make you laugh, I don’t have to pay." The girl in the window says, "Okay." The guy says, "A little boy named Timmy lost his arms." The girl says, "Oh no!" The guy says, "And his dad left him when he was 4." The girl says, "Uhh yeah." The guy says, "Okay, I guess I’ll be paying then." The girl asks, "Okay, and what name will that be under?" The guy says, "Timmy, I’m Timmy."