The jokes
Why did the girl rage badly when she got an D- on her essay?
Because the teacher said she missed all her periods.
Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down.
Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.
And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.
Which country makes me crack the fuck up?
LAUGHghanistan.
There is a feminist group in my town.
It is called Gal-Qaeda.
(I actually got this from The Simpsons, so credit to the show.)
How did the Iron and Gold start dating?
They met on TINder.
What do you call the worst joke ever?
Well, according to my mom, I am.
What did the zero say to the eight?
"Nice belt!"
Today is the day of 9/11, and we were in class making jokes, and somebody said, "That's sad." I was like, "Why?" And they said, "Today is the day the towers went down." I said, "Just like I did on your mum last night."
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
Answer: 9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 5 seconds.
What is better than hitting a booty? Playing with the titties.
How do you clean the ocean?
With tide!
Teacher: Ok kids, time to go home.
The orphan: What is home?
Teacher: Here, I have somewhere for you.
*puts in trash can*
Suicide is the way to get even with the bitch called probability.
What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?
The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.
9/11 and Jenga are the same.
It's a controlled demolition.
Why was the short person a coward? They didn't stand up to challenges.
A Texan and an Alaskan walk into a room, and the Alaskan says, "My state is bigger." Then the Texan says, "It won't be when it melts."
Dad: You're adopted.
Son: Where are my real parents?
Dad: >:D They are dead, now come to their grave and sleep there.
Why did the chicken explode? Because he pooped his pants!
Why was the toilet angry?
Because everyone was pooping in his mouth :>