The jokes
Where do gorillas get all the "pussy" from? The strip club, which is called "Poker Kong Night."
Kid: "THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE BUILDING!"
Shooter: "Oops."
What do you say when the toilet is clogged?
Oh shit!
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
I got the joke from my brother.
Yo mama so fat that when the cashier at KFC asked her what size bucket she wants, she said "the one on the roof."
Warning: If you're planning to look here for jokes about the FOOD nuts, don't bother. It's filled with penis jokes.
When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
The suicide squad.
Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay people can play Star Wars.
Why do planets circle the sun?
'Cause they like the game of ring-around-the-rosy.
Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?
'Cause it's a car-PET.
What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?
"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"
Get it?
What did the dog say when he got its tail caught in the door?
"It won't be long now..."
What did the window say to the door?
"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"
Get it?
Why did the school go remote?
Because the teachers wanted to play with remotes!
Trump can get banned. The cops can tack him to jail, and Trump go go go go bye bye for good. Trump is meing.
Why did the orphan commit suicide?
So he could find home.
How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage.
I lost the case.
Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
I'm in school lol.