The jokes

What starts with M and ends with arriage?

Miscarriage. Now we all know that joke never gets old, and you know what?

Neither does the child.

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  • Why did the democrats come out of the closet as assholes after they found out that Rush Limbaugh died? Because they don't fear him anymore.

    Why did the Democrats act like an asshole when Rush Limbaugh was alive?

    Because they fear him.

    Admins, if you are seeing this, please look in the comments of https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/5d521e61d3e53a06d27bc361/why-are-you-censoring-my-friend-franz.

    I'm sorry.

    Draw an accurate diagram representing the elephant genitalia. Use all 30 sheets of paper provided.

    And there's the referee taking down Ronaldo's number.

    Not really the time or the place, but it's good to see that we've kept homophobia out of football.

    A new feature that we are bringing to the Olympics is 3D viewing. So if you're watching the javelin, I would look away now.

    In this modern age, I feel as though it's inappropriate to make jokes about herbs and fish.

    It's not the thyme or the plaice for it.

    I would like to complain about the new sushi restaurant at Gatwick Airport. Although there were large portions going round on the conveyor, they did taste a bit like luggage.

    So an orphan goes to the store and gets a bunch of cartons of milk.

    The cashier goes, "Woah, why so much?"

    The orphan goes, "My dad never came back with the milk, so, well, here we are!"

    The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below.

    Trump: "I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy."

    Melania: "Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"

    Ivanka: "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy."

    Pilot: "Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"

    How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

    They put doorknobs on a wall and said, "Open the door."