The jokes
What did the drunk emo say to the bartender?
Nothing, she was hung over.
A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."
Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the concert?
In case he had to drop some BOMBS.
Why did the rapper cross the road?
To drop some STREET KNOWLEDGE on the other side.
Why did the rapper bring a clock to the stage?
To keep track of his rhyme time.
Why did the rapper wear sunglasses?
To SHADE the HATERS!
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he was good at SERVING RHYMES.
Why did the rapper go to therapy?
To work on his FLOW ISSUES.
Why was the rapper always cold?
Because his lyrics were too ICY!
If Slade were a vegetable, he’d be a BRUSSELS SPROUT... small, bitter, and NOBODY wants him at the table.
Why did the mop lick the floor of the bathroom? Because it was so poopy.
Why did the human eat cereal in the bathroom?
So he could querk.
Why did the Octopus go down the toilet?
Because he had a toilet call in the drain.
I tried to get into an emo bar, but I didn't make the cut.
Emos,
They're always a cut above the rest.
Why did the rapper bring a calculator to the party?
To count his STACKS of CASH!
What did the rapper say to his BROKEN PENCIL?
"You broke the beat!"
Why did the rapper always carry a flashlight?
To SHINE A LIGHT on his talent!
Why did the rapper bring a dictionary on stage?
To DEFINE his rap game!
Why did the rapper bring a shovel to the concert?
To dig deep with his lyrics.