Taxi driver jokes
What would the main character from Martin Scorsese's Taxi Driver be named if he was a Mexican?
Travis Spick-le.
Your mini pecker is so small, the taxi driver said the ride was so short that he'd do it for free.
Three drunk men get in a taxi. The driver knew they were drunk, so he started the car and turned it off. The first man gave him the money. The second man thanked him, but the third man slapped the driver. The driver, surprised that he noticed, asked why, and the third man replied with, "Why did you drive so fast?"
Three drunk guys entered a taxi.
The taxi driver knew that they were drunk, so he started the engine and turned it off again. Then said, "We have reached your destination." The first guy gave him money, and the second guy said, "Thank you." The third guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked, thinking the third drunk knew what he did. But then he asked, "What was that for?" The third guy replied, "Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!"
Why can’t Germans call a taxi? *does taxi calling motion*
I took an Uber home the other day, and the bastard was swerving all over the road and driving on the shoulder... I said, "Who the f*ck taught you to drive?" To this, he replied, "Stevie Wonder."
Uber driver: .........
Me: .........
Uber driver: .........
Me: 5 stars.