Stethoscope jokes

I turned off all the beeping machines in the hospital. I love the peace and quiet, but I don't know why everyone is sleeping cause it's only 8 am.

Doctor: I'm sorry, but your surgery will cost a lot of money.

Buuuuut what's this behind your ear?

Oh, it's still cancer.

Doc: Can I help you?

Girl: Doctor, I have pain in my heart.

Doc: When did it begin?

Girl: Right now (seeing him like a doll).

Doc: Hh...do you like me? I know I am handsome...

Girl: No, don’t get me wrong. You just look like someone I know.

Doc: Who is that? Is your boyfriend?

Girl: No, it’s my pet (rabbit), his name is Rokie.

Why did the doctor check out Earth?

He had a tummy quake.

Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Well, pull yourself together, then.

Doctor, doctor! My brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Is he egging around? Yes, but we need to get the eggs.

Woman: Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm an elephant! Doctor: Run around the room. Then the woman stomps around the room and breaks things.

Doctor, doctor! I fell like a bell! Shall I ring you, then? When can you ring me up?

Doctor, doctor! I have a ball stuck in my throat! Shall I bat it and get a run, then?

Why did the library book go to the doctor?

It needed to be checked out.