So jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?
Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
You're in Australia. Your forehead is the reason why Africa is so hot.
Your momma so ugly, when the Kool-Aid man burst in the door, he said, "Oh no!"
"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he replies.
Old people kept saying "you're next" to me at weddings, so I started saying it to them at funerals.
Your hairline so back that back in the day of your hairline, Burger King was called "Burger Prince."
I looked so deep in the dark web, I started to see Tyrone.
Yo mama so poor, when I rang her doorbell, she said, "Ding!"
Person: So, Jimmy, what do you do all day?
Jimmy Savile: Anyone who I can do.
You're so ugly, when you put makeup on, it makes you look like a clown.
Your mom's so fat, when she entered a fat contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"
Yo mama so rich,
her blood type is 24 karat GOLD!
My sister is so ugly that she had to have a child with me to keep the family tree going.
A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked...
"What's this special military operation our glorious leader keeps talking about?"
Her husband replied, "It's a proxy war between Russia and NATO."
"Oh, right. How's it going?"
"Well," he replied, "so far we've lost 200,000 soldiers, 4,000 tanks, 500 aircraft, numerous helicopters, loads of armoured vehicles and artillery pieces along with our 'flag ship'."
"Wow! What about NATO?"
"They haven't turned up yet."
So one time I was with my girlfriend, crazy, right? But we were doing a TikTok eye follow challenge, and she pulled up a pic of Gwen Stacy from Into the Spider-Verse, and I looked somewhere I shouldn’t have, and she smacked me, and I changed to the Rock, and you know where she looked? WTF, right in the no-no square, and since she was a girl, all I could do was sit back and watch.
One night a guy asked his wife where she wanted to eat. She said, "Chinese food," so he flew her to China. The next night, he asked her what she wanted to eat. She said, "Indian food," so he flew her to India. The last night, he said, "What do you want to eat?" and she said she wanted nothing, so he flew her to Africa.
Yo mama is so dumb that she went to the eye doctor just to buy an iPhone.
You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys.
Thank you, Jesus, for creating holy water!
Yo mama is so fat, when she wore yellow, the kids thought they missed the bus.