Sick fuck jokes

I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.

As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?

Two guys are captured by native Chinese. They give them two choices: 1. Death. 2. 他妈的

The first guy: What's 他妈的?

The Chinese: Fucking.

The first guy chooses death.

Second guy to himself: Well, I'll let these sick fucks fuck me. At least I'll be alive...

The Chinese: Come on, we don't have all day.

Second guy: I choose 他妈的.

The Chinese: Ok, 他妈的 to the death!

P1: What's the difference between a kid and a hooker?

P2: I don't know.

P1: Wow, you sick fuck!

If you read this, you fucked your dad and your 4-year-old sister, you sick fuck... At least wait till they are 15.

I got mad at my sister's boyfriend, so I fucked his girl.

So I'm banging the fuck out of this slutty chick, right?

And I'm thinking to myself, "She's PROBABLY got AIDS." So I go and get myself tested and, lo and behold, I'm positive.

This gets me thinking, "Where the fuck does an eight year old get AIDS?!"

"Who has my sister been hanging out with?!"

You want to hear a dirty joke?

This guy and this girl were having sex when the guy's boss called to ask why he wasn't at work. The guy responds, "I'm sick." His boss replies, "You don't sound sick." The guy says, "I'm fucking my sister" and hangs up the phone.

Yesterday I was fucking my sister, and she said, "You fuck a lot like dad." I said, "Really? Mum said that too."

My sister's boyfriend is pissed cuz I fucked his girl.