Rip Van Winkle jokes

Which legendary Dutch wanderer slept for twenty years, except when he got up to pee?

Rip Van Tinkle.

To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide, but you can't run.

I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he's a really deep sleeper.

What's the laziest mountain?

Mount Ever-rest.

What is the second hardest thing in the morning?

Getting up.

Doctor: Madam, your husband needs rest and peace, so here are some sleeping pills.

Wife: Doctor, when should I give them to him?

Doctor: They are for you!