Retirement Home jokes

An elderly woman and an elderly man were at a retirement home.

The man was shuffling a deck of cards for a card game.

The man asks, "Is it your first time?"

The woman replies, "It's been a while since a man has asked me that."

I do consider Johnny Depp to be a victim of domestic violence.

Just like how I consider a children's hospital run by Michael Jackson and a retirement home run by Harold Shipman to be both safe places to be in.

I lit a retirement home on fire so that all the seniors can be cremated for free.

Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? No, he hasn't either.

I asked a poor old woman if I could take her home. She smiled and said yes. However, the expression on her face soon changed when I started walking away with her cardboard box.

Alzheimer's protesters march chanting. "What do we want? Better treatment... When do we want it? ...Want what?"

Surely people would consider putting pedals on wheelchairs so that their arms don't get tired.