Retirement Home jokes

An elderly woman and an elderly man were at a retirement home.

The man was shuffling a deck of cards for a card game.

The man asks, "Is it your first time?"

The woman replies, "It's been a while since a man has asked me that."

I do consider Johnny Depp to be a victim of domestic violence.

Just like how I consider a children's hospital run by Michael Jackson and a retirement home run by Harold Shipman to be both safe places to be in.

I lit a retirement home on fire so that all the seniors can be cremated for free.

Ever since I needed a wheelchair, my husband has been so rude. He’s been pushing me around and talking behind my back.

Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? -- In an American nursing home.

I asked a poor old woman if I could take her home. She smiled and said yes. However, the expression on her face soon changed when I started walking away with her cardboard box.

Alzheimer's protesters march chanting. "What do we want? Better treatment... When do we want it? ...Want what?"