Pediatrician jokes
A child with cancer: "I want to be like you when I grow up." Doctor: "Oh, you're not going to grow up."
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
A woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging, “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says, “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
What is the perfect job for a pedophile?
A physical doctor for kids.
A common question I get as a doctor is, do vaccines cause autism? Well!, I was vaccinated, so.....
A father of a young girl comes and meets the doctor.
Father: Doctor, how is my daughter's report?
Doctor: Congrats, your daughter is pregnant.
Father: WTF ?????? My daughter is 10 years old and unmarried.
Why didn't the doctor help the orphan?
Because he was a family doctor!
A pedophile brings his eight-year-old daughter to the doctor's office. The doctor asked her if she would like some candy? Her father replies, "Please, no more candy for her. I gave her enough today."
A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said, "I can't treat you." The boy asked why, and the doctor said, "Because I'm a family doctor."
My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"
The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."
Have you heard about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.