An older retired couple - the wife had grown tired of her husband farting in bed each night. One morning she put some chicken parts under the blankets in bed next to him and went off to make some coffee.
A few minutes later she hears a loud fart followed by a blood curdling scream. He comes out after a while and says, "Hon, you were right that I would fart my guts out. Took me the longest to put them back in."
What's the best part about having emo grass?
It cuts itself!
What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have?
A hambone.
What's the hardest part when making skimmed milk?
Throwing the cow across the lake.
What’s the hardest part about f...ing toddlers?
My boner
what is the hardest part of a vegetable... The wheel chair
I love it when cancer hits like a ton of bricks, the best part is when it kills people
Q: What's the best part about gardening?
A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
What's the best part about plowing your cousin?
- It makes your sister jealous.
What’s the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person
You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message
What's the best part about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
What's an edible part of a wheelchair? A vegetable
Whats the best part about dead baby jokes?
They never get old
So this guy thought he was funny by pissing on the floor and not in the urnel......Later on I guess some kid ran into the bathroom because well he probably had to go but yeah he slipped and fell and hit his head on the urnel so all in all it was a pretty good prank on his part
The worst part about church is that you're constantly switching between sitting, standing, and kneeling. I mean, why can't the priest just pick a position and f**k me already!
You never told me you were part orangutan, have you considered taking a vacation to Planet of the Apes?
What's the hardest part of running through a field of dead babies?
My boner.
What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.
What part of the train goes toot toot-caboose
The Trump cocktail. Take a large glass and fill it with an ounce of everything behind the bar. Top it with whipped cream and a cherry. Now for the hard part: finding a Mexican to pay for it.
