There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to bury them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but the second guy refuses the meal.
When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.
In heaven, an angel asks him why.
“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat, though.”
What's the worst part about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car?
Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half.
Hey, you down to fuck?
No, I’m just down.
An older retired couple - the wife had grown tired of her husband farting in bed each night. One morning she put some chicken parts under the blankets in bed next to him and went off to make some coffee.
A few minutes later she hears a loud fart followed by a blood curdling scream. He comes out after a while and says, "Hon, you were right that I would fart my guts out. Took me the longest to put them back in."
What's the best part about having emo grass?
It cuts itself!
What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have?
A hambone.
What's the hardest part when making skimmed milk?
Throwing the cow across the lake.
What’s the hardest part about f...ing toddlers?
My boner.
what is the hardest part of a vegetable... The wheel chair
I love it when cancer hits like a ton of bricks. The best part is when it kills people.
Q: What's the best part about gardening?
A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
What's the best part about plowing your cousin?
- It makes your sister jealous.
What’s the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person
You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message
What's the best part about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
What's an edible part of a wheelchair?
A vegetable!
Whats the best part about dead baby jokes?
They never get old
So this guy thought he was funny by pissing on the floor and not in the urinal.
Later on, I guess some kid ran into the bathroom because, well, he probably had to go, but yeah, he slipped and fell and hit his head on the urinal, so all in all it was a pretty good prank on his part.
The worst part about church is that you're constantly switching between sitting, standing, and kneeling. I mean, why can't the priest just pick a position and f**k me already!
You never told me you were part orangutan. Have you considered taking a vacation to Planet of the Apes?
What's the hardest part of running through a field of dead babies?
My boner.
