Off jokes
Why doesn't Voldemort have a human nose?
Because his snake bit it off!
Have you ever heard of the stupid coyote? He got stuck in a trap, chewed off three of his legs, and was still stuck!
Fat people should expect big things when they take their shirt off.
I watched the series of "Unfortunate Events" 4 times, all the shows 4 times. I am crying. I am trying to finish the rest, then my brother comes in and says it is PG (Parental Guidance). After that, my brother called me a baby, then he pushed me off my bed. ðŸ˜
Get off of here, kids!
Why is an orphan really good at being naughty?
Because they have no one to tell them off.
Why is an orphan good at being naughty?
Because they don't have no one to tell them off.
What did the caveman say while seeing a reptile taking off?
Look at that dino-sour!
I've been taking Viagras for sunburn.
It keeps the sheets off my bed at night!
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period?
She can taste the blood off her son’s cock!
If you ever had your nipple ripped off by a possum, you might be a redneck...
A couple and their friends were riding their tricycle, and one wheel fell off. They discussed what to do, and finally the friend said, "Why don't you just use me?" The boyfriend said, "Why did I not think of using the third wheel?"
Why did Sarah call off the swing? Because she has no arms.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.
So this one time I saw Sally trying to get up after she fell off the swing, and I helped her up and she said "Thank you," and I said, "You're welcome." The next day I saw her legs and someone said, "I would not do that," and I said, "Whatever." I tapped Sally, and the top halve fell. I said, "WHAT HAPPENED TO SALLY?" And someone said she went in a minefield.
A 28-year-old medical student is auctioning off her virginity online.
For $300K, you can have the worst sex of your life.
Why did the tangerine copy off other people's work?
Because the tangerine was unORANGEinal!
One day a Chief was talking to his son... "Son," the father said, "Long ago the Woman didn't have anybody to take her to BINGO. So, the Creator put the Woman to sleep and cut off her butt cheeks and made her a Man. That's why today Indian Women have no butt, and the Men are called Buttheads!"
Friend: Want to play Fall Guys?
Friend 2: Yup.
Friend: Ok, so let me ju- wait, where are you going?
Friend 2: I'm gonna jump off.
Friend: Why?
Friend 2: We are playing Fall Guys, right?
Guy: "My life is like a game, I should end it."
Guy 2: "Is it a hard life?"
Guy: "Yup"
Guy 2: "Then you can't kill yourself LOL"
Guy 3: "Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the 'game'"
Once again, RIP Daniel Kyre, he actually died this day five years ago.
He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.
We will miss ya bud..... (cyndagoooooooo)
When a bomb goes off, they call it an explosion.
When Keemstar exposes someone, they call it an exposion.