Number One jokes

What's the number one pick up line at a gay bar?

"May I push your stool in?"

Gf: "You are a drug."

Bf: "Why, cause you are addicted to me?"

Gf: "No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana."

What is the number one song played in Columbine High? Smells Like Teen Spirit.

Do you know the number one cause of death for lesbians?

Getting your fingers stuck in there.

"Gotta number one victory royale."

"We are Number one."

"Rapeboat momma" on OnlyFans. Rapeboat is her number one sub.

What is Hawking's number one song? The Beach Boys: "I Get Around."

"We got a number one victory royale, yeah Fortnite we boutta get down! Get down! Ten kills on the board right now, just wiped out tomato town! My friend's gone down, I revived him now we're heading southbound! Now we're in the pleasant park street, look at the map, go to the marked sheet!"

I just read an article that Texas is number one in the nation for both depression and infidelity in relationships.

It's a sad state of affairs.

Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

A teacher asked his students a math question.

"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"

After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.

"One dollar!" she said.

What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.