No jokes
Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well no sir." And grandpa said, then no, you can't.
Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said let me get a hit of that, and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And Johnny said no again. Then papaw was shooting his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d**k reached his a**, and Johnny said no.
Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d**k reach your a**?" And papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f**k yourself because you ain't getting none of my ice cream!"
I was walking to the store, and then this boy told me, "I'm an orphan and I have no money." He wanted M\&Ms. I gave him a family-sized bag.
Why was the orphan so bad at basketball? He had no encouragement.
Baby: Stroll?
Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!
Baby: *happily screams*
Stroller: *front wheels break off*
Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!
Baby: Oka- CRASH!
No joke. I just want to say that my thoughts are with the Ukrainian people, and I wish them the best. Best of luck.
I made a website for orphans. The thing is, there was no homepage.
What is an orphan’s least favorite movie?
"Spider-Man," because it told them there was no way home.
A lot of people ask why I only make jokes about Paul Walker and no one else.
Because they didn’t have as big of an impact as him.
Some guy asked me, "Are you better than my meat?" I said, "No, I'm not better, I just beat it all the time."
What do you call a person with no arms and legs?
You can call him whatever you want; he's not coming.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: It doesn’t matter; it won’t come anyway.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
No one.
No one who?
...
What did the fish say to the beach?
"Long tide, no see!"
Hispanic and Latino people be like, "No more immigrants!" Like, dude, aren't you an immigrant?
"What’s your name?"
"Am erica."
"No, I asked for your name, not your country."
Yo mama's so stupid, she drowned in the pond because the sign said, "No Swimming!"
Herpes? No, I don't want her. Her pees.
Why can orphans only have iPhone 13s?
Because there is no home button.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
We just found out Grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than Grandma.