Spoke memes

A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him:

Wife: "Why is your face all bloody?"

Husband: "I was so drunk that I couldn't stand up, so I kept falling on my face!"

Wife: "Idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!"

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for a minute.

"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets." "Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo." "Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three." "Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant." "Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." "What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"

Government Briefing:

Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today...

...He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.