Worst Jokes Ever

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One Memes

rapboat

A meme shows a tweet stating "According to Kanye, one good girl is worth a thousand bitches & according to Lil Wayne, bitches come a dime a dozen, this means that one good girl is worth $8.33" followed by a table calculating the value of one good girl. The table shows: 1 good girl = 1000 bitches; 12 bitches = $0.10; 1 bitch = $0.0083; 1 good girl = 1000 bitches x $0.0083 1/bitches; 1 good girl = $8.33.

Heroin Monkey

A man with glasses and a beard is in front of a brown curtain. The text "Five Scientific Reasons To Kill Yourself" is at the bottom. The uploader is "balding science man". Underneath is the text "Published on 9 May 1945, were going off the air after this one forever, hello darkness my old friend".

Heroin Monkey

A black and white image of a bartender behind a bar, with drinks on the counter. The text in the image reads: "I was drinking a beer and the bartender yelled 'Anyone know CPR?' I yelled 'I know the entire alphabet.' And we all laughed and laughed, well except for this one guy."

big [fire] balls

naz
@Nazxca
There is only one thing girls want,
and it starts with a P and ends in
a S.

big [fire] balls

A platypus in a box with the text: "BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE. Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk, it's one of the few animals that can make its own custard. AS AN ADDED BONUS HER MATE CAN POISON THE CUSTARD WITH HIS OWN VENOM."

big [fire] balls

The image shows a scene from the animated show Phineas and Ferb. At the top, Phineas on the left is labeled "WANTING TO SLEEP", while Ferb on the right is labeled "NOT WANTING TO SLEEP". Below them, in a cage, is Perry the Platypus, labeled "ME", with wide, worried eyes. The text reads: "Ferb! This one's looking at both of us at the same time." Below Perry, it reads [Chattering]

big [fire] balls

The image shows a platypus at the top, with the text "On the sixth day, God created the platypus. And God said..." underneath. Below that is an image of a cartoon God giving a thumbs up with the text "let's see the evolutionists try and figure this one out".

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of math exercises with the text: "Exercises Simplify the following rational algebraic expressions 1. y² + 5x + 4 / y² - 3x - 4 2. -21a²b² / 28a³b³ 3. x² - 9 / x² - 7x + 12 4. m² + 6m + 5 / m² - m - 2 5. x² - 5x - 14 / x² + 4x + 4" Below, there is text that says: "Nah you alone in this one lil bro" followed by emojis.

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

Man legally changes name to
"Big Dick" so that "these niggas
will keep my name out they
mouth"
@ju
C
He taken a selfie with a security cam?
The energy surrounding this man is mythically powerful. Truly he
is one we must fear.

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

A tweet from Joe Heenan stating he wrote a script during lockdown and received an email from someone at Netflix. The email reads, Dear Mr. Heenan, Thank you for the script, it's one of the best we have ever read. The writing is superb, it's tense, funny & non stop action. The only problem is it's the script to Die Hard. You literally sent us the script to Die Hard & changed the title to Mr. No Shoes and the Shooty Shooty Bang Bang Christmas. Never contact us again.

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

A marble sculpture of a frog from the Shang Dynasty (1600-1045 B.C.). Credit and Collection: Sotheby's.

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

Two people outside. A person is covered in bees, sitting on a bucket. The other person, dressed in beekeeper gear, is kneeling next to him, holding out a hand.

Labradorian

Describe you in one word. Me:

A white power strip lies on a carpet. A white cable is plugged in one end and plugged into another socket of the same power strip. There are also 2 angry emoji icons on the upper left of the image.

✨Jassy✨

My big back moment

A woman with long hair and large hoop earrings is looking upwards with an open mouth. The text above her reads "when you finish your french fries but you find extra ones at the bottom of the bag".

Heroin Monkey

The image is a two-panel meme featuring a pink pig character with a friendly expression in the top panel, saying, "hey folks Viewer Mail Time Again!" In the bottom panel, the same pig is holding a package. Text overlaid on the image reads, "This one comes from Theodore J. Kaczynski."

Heroin Monkey

A close up shot of a frog looking directly at the viewer. It is being held in someone's hand. Below the image are text messages: "What is this." followed by "frog", "What kind." followed by "A chonk one", and "Yes, but what is it called." followed by "Harold".

whizzingfizz

A black dog has its head over a white dog's head. The text on the image reads: "Another one" next to the black dog and "The dust" next to the white dog.

A Star Wars Fan

A multi-paneled image shows a man on a panel trying to call on an actor. He starts with "Chris!" and three actors respond: Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, and Chris Pratt. The man then tries to specify "the muscular one," and all three actors claim the title. Finally, the man says "the one playing Peter," at which point Tom Holland raises his hand. Visibly frustrated, the man says, "Oh dang it! Not you Tom!" A final panel shows Tom Hiddleston replying, "What did I do?"

Jazzy💕

A screenshot of a text message exchange. One person suggests playing a game, asking who the other would choose to be stranded with on a deserted island. The other person replies, "That's easy. Dora - that girl has everything in her backpack." The first person responds with sad emojis.

A Star Wars Fan

A photo of a group of friends is shown. In the center, a man in shorts appears to have a phallus, which is revealed by the meme's text to be a shoe. The text reads: "How one shoe can ruin a family photo."

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