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🖤ɖǟռɢɛʀօʊֆ💰 memes

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🖤ɖǟռɢɛʀօʊֆ💰

46 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

Account

15 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The first part shows a tweet from the National Park Service stating: "You know it's cold outside when you go outside and it's cold." Below that is a reply from heychrisjones stating "Who is running this account?" The second part shows a reply from the National Park Service that contains an image. The image shows a marmot wearing a headset and sitting at a computer in an office setting.

Man

17 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A screenshot of a Daily Mail article. The headline reads: "Young man forced to post a photo of his passport on Facebook to prove his real name is 'Phuc Dat Bich'... after his account is banned THREE times". There is a smaller picture of the young man, and a passport image with the name "Phuc Dat Bich", and the dates 03 JAN 1992, 17 SEP 2013, and 17 SEP 2023. The passport is from Australia.

Floor

3 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

Pronoun

8 views · Bluntlord · 2 years ago

2024

The image shows a split view of the same person. On the left, they have shorter hair, makeup and wear a green t-shirt, with the text "What are your Pronouns?" written in yellow. On the right, they are shirtless with facial hair, and text in purple that says "I'm a She/Them Titties".

Challenge

11 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A black and white photo of soldiers landing on a beach from a boat. In the middle of the photo is the cartoon character Chris McLean with his arms spread out in a welcoming manner. The text on the image reads, "Alright campers, today's challenge is gonna be a hard one."

Rug

18 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a black doormat with white text that reads, "it's MY home, God gave me the right to make it a tomb for federal agents or thieves", and below the text is a cartoonish drawing of a person. Above the doormat is a text that reads, "The rug I ordered 6 months ago finally came in lmao."

Author

17 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The meme shows three different people. The first panel shows J.K. Rowling, with the text "Has a good idea and writes a book". The second panel shows George R.R. Martin, with the text "Has a good idea and writes a book". The third panel shows J.R.R. Tolkien, with the text "Creates a language, feels like it needs a story and writes a book".

Dildo

29 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

Valentine's Day

10 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image is a four-panel comic showing how to celebrate Valentine's Day. The first panel shows a box of chocolates with the text "BUY CHOCOLATES." The second panel shows a teddy bear with the text "BUY A CUTE TEDDY BEAR." The third panel shows scented candles with the text "BUY SCENTED CANDLES." The fourth panel shows a bottle of wine and a wine glass with the text "BUY A BOTTLE OF GOOD WINE." Below these panels, there's an additional panel that shows a person in bed with the teddy bear, a spilled bottle of wine and an extinguished candle.

Relationship

21 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A painting of Romeo and Juliet on a balcony, with text on the right side. The text reads: 'Romeo & Juliet is not a love story. It's a 3-day relationship between a 13yr old and a 17yr old that caused 6 deaths. Sincerely, Everyone Who Actually Read It.'

Corner

5 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a text list titled 'Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator'. The list provides humorous and absurd actions to perform inside an elevator.

Seal

10 views · The Radio Demon · 2 years ago

Seal Vs Sea Lion

The image shows two cartoon drawings of a seal and a sea lion. The seal is labeled with "ABABABBA", "just a little guy", and "potato dog". The sea lion is labeled with "BORK BORK", "um spooky", and "man in a wetsuit".

N word

24 views · Wade XL · 2 years ago

The image shows a screenshot with text at the top and a man with a shocked expression at the bottom. The text reads: "technically you can call a black guy the n word and I came up with this theory and it's called NROENB it's stands for NO Rasicts Or Equality Not Both. So my theory is that if black ppl call each other the n word then because they want Equality it means that Whites can call Blacks the n word Whites can call Whites the n word Blacks can call Whites the n word Blacks can call Blacks the n word. And Asians are somewhere in the middle."

Dick

32 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image is a comment from user ElderMaxson69, saying, "Maybe instead of riding a dick, you would prefer riding in a set of T-60b Power Armor? Join the Brotherhood of Steel today and take back the commonwealth. Ad Victoriam!"

Corner

23 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A list of ten things to do in an elevator. The text reads: Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator. 1. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 2. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" 3. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" 4. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking. 5. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on". 6. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly. 7. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 8. Dress up as the devil and then ask other people as they get in, "Going down?" 9. Drag a desk into the elevator. Ask "Do you have an appointment?" 10. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."

Home

1 view · BigDaveFan · 2 years ago

A white paper with black text and a simple black drawing of a figure with a long nose. The text reads: "It's MY home, God gave me the right to make it a tomb for federal agents or thieves."

Dude

313 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows two photos of a bed with stains on the sheets. The first photo shows a light-colored bed with brown stains in the middle. The second photo shows a darker bed with more spread-out brown stains. The text at the top of the image says, "Gay dudes be like 'I'm a squirter'".

Manga

134 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

Bitcoin

14 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A drawing of the evolution of man showing a human walking away with text: "When you walk in a party and see a bunch of dudes talking about bitcoin", followed by "LATER HOMO" and "H. sapiens (modern hum".

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