Man United jokes

Liverpool

Why was Liverpool better than Man United? We won 5-0, and you have a sex offender on your team.

Contract

Listen, Man United might not thank me but get the contract out, put it on the table. Let him sign it, let him write whatever numbers he wants to put on there, given what he's done since he's come in. Ole's at the wheel, man. He's doing it. He's doing his thing. Man United are BACK.

Penaldo

I was working in an iPhone store in Norwich when a man came! He said, "Give me a hat-trick or I will destroy your store!" I said, "No," and he started to smash phones! I immediately screamed, "Important game!" and he disappeared! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my store! 😡😡

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  • Fan

    What is a Manchester United fan’s favourite TV channel? The History Channel.

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  • 9/11

    The British equivalent to 9/11 would be a big red bus crashing into Big Ben.

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  • 9/11

    On September 11th, 2001, the New York Giants lost against the Jets.